The ground level - in and out

[Kiyevanie]

Morning

Staring idiots: I'm not sure... I think a first glance with noticing "oh - there's something you don't see everyday" is just part of human nature. I catch myself doing it, but it can be everything, not just a person looking different from the majority, but also wearing extraordinary clothes, someone with a very rare car, someone doing a show on the street corner, whatever. I guess it's part of human nature to register everything that's not your everyday routine.
The difference about is how you act from then on. Staring at people - for example - is just impolite and very bad manners.

Dunno how I'd react in a situation like that - I'm someone who in awkward situation tries to make herself as invisible as possible, but I wish I had the guts to somehow show those people that THEY are the ones who behave wrong.

[flighter]

In my opinion, reacting in a proper way doesn't mean one had a bad upbringing. If you don't like me, that is fine as long as your acts don't affect me personally. Once that happens, then anything goes, anything is allowed. I am not a kind of person who will turn the other cheek when slapped but rather use a baseball bat so next time you will avoid me

[Elyris]

We're girls and that menas despite all progress we're raised to avoid conflict and rather danger or damage ourselves, being small, silent and invisible.

[Kiyevanie]

Sad but true.

[flighter]

Eh... few (10+) years ago, in my hometown, there was an incident. In one of the clubs, local idiot spotted one nice girl (if you see her, you would notice she is self-confident but other than that she can't harm anyone). He approached her from behind and grabbed her boobs. She turned around, smiled, and asked him to do it again so he raised his hand to comply. Next thing he remembered was his friends pouring water on him outside, to wake him up. What the idiot didn't know was that the girl was a black belt holder in Karate (and won many gold medals on tournaments around the world). Well, no normal person would blame that girl. Years before that, I worked at a club. One guest slapped a waitress and escaped. However, he was too damn stupid and returned the following weekend. But... two local cops working as guards recognized him. They chased him (running) for about two kilometers and I doubt that he really remembers what happened after that, lol. Justice served again. Third case... One girl, a Judo champion, but quite skinny... was guarding the entrance. One idiot wanted to get in without a ticket and was drunk. She politely asked him to leave like 2 or 3 times. Then he tried to push her aside. Well, "tried". Again, she swept the floor with him... My late mother-in-law... was a very nice and polite person. But... lol... once a bus conductor (in Nigeria) refused to give her change. She insisted, and then he called her a prostitute and wanted to kick her out of the bus. Again,it did not end well for him It was so bad that the police had to save him. After they heard the reason, they took him away

Anyway, let me ask you something else. Once near Stuttgart, I was on the train. It was really full and one elderly woman passed by searching for a seat. Being trained that way, I stood up and signaled to her that she can sit there. She was surprised. Why? Don't (relatively) younger people do that anymore?

[Kiyevanie]

Morning

I'm cheering for those girls/women - go girls, wipe the floor with those idiots. Do it for all of us who don't have a black belt in anything but drinking coffee!
It's a question of character and upbringing I think. For my parents a girl had to be nice and good and sure listening to their elders... ya know, her parents/grandparents, her boss, her husband... and of course being female comes with being weak and helpless
I know that - if I had had any kids - I would have tried very much to give them more self esteem than my parents did, and to especially make the girls proud and strong.

Train: Don't know actually, I very rarely use public transportation of any kind and if I do ride the train I book a dedicated seat.

[Elyris]

Sooo - after a long day of work, finished up with a 'surprise' workshop I can finally answer.

Good for them that they could defend themselves, even better that nothing came up afterwards.

Girls in general are a lot less likely to fight back physically or even fight back at all. And if they do they might worsen the problem for them quite a bit.
For example: I read an article after the "Cologne New Years Eve Night" that liked back to an 2 year old article describing how sexism and verbal and physical assaults from men to women were still pretty much everywhere and counted for as normal. Especailly in bigger gatherings during festive situations - here namely the Oktoberfest. In more detai lit described a case where a young men thought it was the funniest thing ever to grab under the skirt of the girl sitting with the back to him. She turned around and introduced his head to her still pretty filled ridiculously large pint of beer. Someone called the cops - and they arrested the girl for an attempt of grievous bodily harm. The report specifically stating the guy as a 'feisty young man' that simply drank a bit too much and might not have been overly polite ... making her basically a bitter bytch that can't take a joke. And if it hadn't been for her american citizenship they might even have kept her under custody.
This way she 'only' had to pay 600 euros as compensation for her crime.

After witnessing - direct or indirect (by reading, hearing about it) such events you can bet that less and less females would even try.

Also because there's still the narrative of women being hysterical. They're not angry, they're not furious- they're hysterical. You .. it's a hormonal thing. Meaning there's not real and/or reasonable reason for their feelings - they merely don't understand. They have to be toned down, made to talk silent and soft (who likes bytching and bickering women anyway? only olg hags do that, right?). Men being there to talk back some sense into them and console them afterwards. Of course all of that isn't nearly brought up as openly as mayber 50 years ago, but the baseline of thining didn't change.

So even if a girl through some magical means got as much self esteem and 'bravado' as a boy - it might boomerang on her massively.

This nonsense is so utterly deeply ingrained into the vast majority of cultures on this planet it woudl take at least 4 generations of intense, counscious opposite behaviour from about everyone to maybe flush that out.


To the being polite to elderly people in public transportation - it's not as common of a behaviour as it should be, which makes it ... suspicious to one when it suddenly occurs. In addition: she mgiht have overheard you talk or something and believe me. People here would rather sit in wet dirt than simply believe that a foreigner - especially if he or she's from eatern europe, southern europe or not europe at all ... or at leat looks the way - woudl actually do something genuinely nice without trying something foul in the background.

Without saying it so clearly people here are thought and live by the credo that you have to be weary of everyone that's not in your 'inner circle' (your realtives by blood) - the further away the more on the fence you have to be.

It's exhausting. I am an anxious person due to that upbringing.

[Kiyevanie]

Afternoon

[flighter]

...evening

Just saw the most updated release date... December 2020. WTF, James, WTF? Will all of us even live long enough to see all sequels and prequels?

[Elyris]

It's Friday. I want to sleep.

And it seems like I broke the Forum. Hm.

[Kiyevanie]

Huh? Forum looks just fine for me...

Morning and yeah, Friday.
No sleep though tomorrow. There's another note on the blackboard in my house, telling they'll work from 7am in the morning on the house. On the bright side - one side of the house is ready, so I badly hope for the other side to be done soon too.

[Elyris]

Afternoon.

I meant I apparently ranted too much.

Wow ... well ... any hopes they might be done 'til the end of the year?

[Kiyevanie]

Afternoon
Nope, you didn't. I'm just horribly busy at the moment... and that moment somehow seems to last for like a few month now :-/

I actually hope they might be done in two weeks or so. Middle of September was what I guessed from the beginning and it seems we'll get there.

[Elyris]

Monday - running on 2 hours of sleep. 3 hour m'meeting' scheduled today.

[Kiyevanie]

Morning
Eeeek - did you ever think about talking to a doc about your sleeping problems? That's not good, so little sleep as you get

[Elyris]

I asked my doc about 3 times or so and the only thing I got offered was heavy meds. This is somehow not what I want.
I think the biggest problem for me is the unnatural 'rythm' I am bound to. If left alone I would sleep until about 7am - which isn't too late at all. But that is also the time when I have to start work, so ...
If I could work half time I might be able to get on a better path, but as things are now I don't see a way at the moment.

[Kiyevanie]

Morning

Huh, then you're even early with your natural rhythm. Mine is set a lot later - my "natural" wakeup time is somewhere between 9 and 10 am. So my alarm at 7:15 kinda kills me too, but by now I manage most of the time to sleep somewhere between 11pm and midnight.

[Elyris]

Well ... what can one do?

My mother got me some melatoning tablets and this seems to work quite well without messing up too much other stuff).

[Nawmtirea]

'Morning!

Just saw the most updated release date... December 2020. WTF, James, WTF? Will all of us even live long enough to see all sequels and prequels?

James announced this date quite a few months ago. Avatar 2 - Dec.2020, the 3rd in Dec.2021, the 4th in Dec.2023 and the 5th in Dec.2024.

Wow, can you believe the last one will be 15 years after the first one? That is, as long as parts 2 & 3 make money. James has said that if 2 & 3 aren't successful they won't do 4 & 5, hence the time gap between the release dates of parts 3 & 4.

[Nawmtirea]

Nice to be done with the Fan Expo convention. Four days in a convention centre with 120,000 visitors is quite exhausting (but profitable).

Took it easy on Monday and Tuesday to recuperate, and send the kids back to school yesterday (YAY!) Now it's time to gear up for the crazy Halloween season.

@Nawm: When you read this: How come we didn't go to get us some poutine back when we were in Canada?

Poutine has always been around in Canada, but back when you guys visited, it hadn't become popular as a menu item in fast food restaurants yet, it was more of something that was more common in the province of Quebec, where it originated (hence the French name). Once one fast food franchise started offering poutine, every other one jumped on board. Then "The Poutinerie", a fast food franchise dedicated to different kinds of poutine popped up. Now almost every restaurant has at least one variation of poutine on the menu. Now poutine is everywhere in Canada.

[Kiyevanie]

Well, I'm not so sure if not having tried Poutine is really that much of a loss - I love fries, but I'm not that much a fan of that gravy sauce. I'm more a mayo and ketchup kinda gal. Both on one helping. And then fresh onions over it... Ato might know it as "Friet speciaal"

Yupp, expos and conventions can be exhausting. For me it's the mix of the air in there, together with the light, the noise, the millions of people... some kind of sensory overload.

@Elyris: I hope those tablets will help. Running on that little sleep ain't good

Morning

[Elyris]

Afternoon.

Well - Poutine still sound sleagues better than over half of what I ate during that week.(UFOs everywhere!)

The only 'expo' I've been to was the world expo in Hannover( was it?) years ago on a school trip and as I was .... incapacitated .. I barely saw a thing.
Never been anywhere after that.

[Kiyevanie]

UFOs = Unidentified Food Objects?

[Elyris]

Morning

Indeed.

[Kiyevanie]

Morning
Ugh. I remember them from my Mensa... I tried hard to forget about them.